Last summer I ended a ten month relationship with somebody who appeared ‘perfect’ only it turns out he wasn’t!! So lying on my sun lounger on holiday I said to my friend ‘when I get home I’m going to start running, go the gym and get a tattoo’ and I’m proud to say I have done all three!!
Let’s go back a few years. Following my divorce and being a single mum of three children who were then 7,5 and 2 I found life quite hard. Not only dealing with the knowledge my husband had been unfaithful but also becoming a single parent. Life was tough and certain days I just wanted to get in the car and drive straight in to the roundabout. I screamed and cried but nobody knew as I didn’t want to share what I thought were my ‘downfalls or weaknesses’. Instead I struggled in silence constantly criticising myself for not being a good enough mum, teacher, daughter etc etc. Then when I was unable to walk in to my classroom due to the unbearable feeling of anxiety my Head told me to go to the doctors. I did and the doctor spent over an hour chatting to me and eventually I was prescribed anti-depressants. They did the trick! I could get myself and the children out of the house without having a breakdown, I could function in work and I felt happy. They worked for so long until I met *Ste.
Ste was everything that was missing in my life (or so I thought) anyway this perfect relationship came to a head and *Ste became threatening and violent against me. All the anxieties came back and my head was all over the place.
I decided enough was enough and slowly weaned myself off the anti-depressants as I wanted to feel ‘normal’ again.
Running and exercise went hand in hand to help me become ‘normal’. The feeling when you run is incredible! I’m not a fast runner nor will I ever win medals for being the first runner home but I have gained a state of mind which cannot be achieved through prescription drugs(in my opinion). I run to keep myself sane, happy, fit and I love it! I started with my local parkrun then entered the half marathon without having ran a mile without stopping!!!
I challenged myself and I completed that challenge two weeks ago. I’ve booked my next half, join my new parkrun friends most Saturdays, complete long runs with the help of my dad who babysits every other Sunday morning and go to the gym whenever I can.
It sounds crazy but if I don’t go for a run or do some sort of exercise I begin to feel down so I’ve joined my children at the gym so we can all go together as a family and allows me more flexibility.
The light nights and slightly warm weather are here and I’m loving that feeling of getting up and out!!
I do all this to help my mind 💕💕💕 and it works🏃♀️🏃♀️🏃♀️🏃♀️🏃♀️#
It's OK to have a mental health issue, it's OK to talk about mental health, and it's OK to ask for help.